I don't understand

I am waiting to see baby fung arrives next Monday and I am glad I have gone through the tough time and settled down now. I know I should maintain a peaceful mind to welcome my baby...but I just don't understand some people can say something bad to you while you are pregnant who is so rude. I think in this world only she can do this to her family.

Today I received a call from HER, she said her friend has sent me a baby gift since she is a very good friend to that person, blah blah blah - it's a brand new baby bedding set. She asked me to pick it up from her these few days, however I am not able to go too far away to pick it up and told her that she can leave it there later as I currently have baby bedding sheets to use, so it's not urgent to pick it up. However, she suddenly said "oh it's a very pretty gift!", I replied "oh really? i also have some nice ones that i can use it at the moment", then she said "If you already have the bedding available, then you don't need it and I shall use it for my own...", I felt so frustrated when she said that...what the hell she can use the baby bedding for her own as she is an adult??? And what's her intention to say this to me, if someone sent a gift to me and she can take it home??? My hubby said she is mad at me and that's why she says this...which I agreed totally as she used to do this to me.

I just have no idea...so i replied "ok, if you think the gift is suitable to you, u go ahead!" and I hang up the phone. My hubby told me not to take it so seriously as we know she always acts like that. However, to me, I think if she is my family, how could she say this to me now? When she says this, has she ever think of my feelings??? no I don't think she will and she will never try to understand other's feelings, she remains selfish as usual. I am disappointed to her behaviours again, so odd.

感覺不良好

還有4個星期BB要出世了, 我並不像大部份的準媽媽一樣正預備BB需要的用品, 我的丈夫還沒有跟我去為BB買日用品, 更不用想像準父母開開心心去購BB用品的圖畫發生在我身上. 每次都是我自己一個去為BB預備BB用品, 在店裏, 只有我自己一個人在逛...當自己一個人走在路上, 上班下班, 回家自己預備一個人的晚飯, 好靜好寂靜. 有時候我會跟在肚裏的BB說話, 跟他說媽媽是會很愛鍚他, 媽媽要學會堅強, 媽媽會好好照顧他, 媽媽不會容易不快樂...

我問"可以早些回來陪我嗎? 我覺得很大壓力很不快樂..."; 電話另一面回答"盡量吧!"
我說"我現在很depress", 電話另一面說"你要自己克服這些負面思想, 好嗎?我也夠煩惱和壓力..."
我問"我不快樂可以跟誰說?", 另一半? 不, 他是不會明白還認為係很煩; 父母? 不, 不想他們太担心; 好朋友, 他們是很好的聆聽者很好的支持, 但也會愛莫能助; 神? 是的, 唯一可以跟神去傾訴, 然後...
我還要問為什麼, 為什麼是我?

Now you have no choice

Now it's confirmed you have no choice, you have no right to voice your opinion, or even your feelings. If you say anything or struggle, you are WRONG and you are BAD. You have no right to have any feelings. You are certified dead! How do u feel now? Can only feel dead? No hope? oh, there is no feeling now. Tears? Yes, before you really lose your last breathe.

Why feel sorrow? Why tears? Why? May be when you can only see dead end, no hope at all. That's desparate enough. Yes, I am dead.

人生如此

為什麼有些人選擇逃避問題? 那麼你又可以逃避到何年何月? 問題still exist. Or worse, 問題只會越滾越大. 為什麼你不嘗試去靜靜的去聆聽別人的感受? 只需要spare 幾分鐘, 可以嗎? 如果你每一次也要求別人要在好的timing才可和你解决問題, 那麼別人一定要是你肚裏的一條蟲, 要不然, 這一生一世也沒有好的timing跟你好好的談, 這是多麽的可惜和可悲!

既然你選擇繼續逃避, 我唯有做可以令自己舒服一點的事情來調節, 那時候請不要責怪我! 我是被迫沒有選擇的.

新年願望

今天是2009年新的一日, 大清早和公公婆婆, 姨媽和表妹喝早茶, 好開心. 婆婆今天心情和胃口也特別好. 新年願望家人身體健康, 特別是公公和婆婆最重要, 我亦很珍惜每次跟他們相聚的時間. 每星期我必定分別自己的時間去看看他們.

另一個新年願望是Baby Fung健康順利出世, 還有四個月這個小生命便臨到這個花花世界. 我真的很期待他的來臨. 他的每一個胎動我也感到生命的奇妙;每一次看到電视節目裏BB出世的環節也會感動流淚. 現在家裏巳添了少量初生BB的衫仔, 今天我把它們一件一件的拿出來看. 我可以想像Baby Fung快要穿上這一件件又cute又細細的BB衫, 突出胖胖的小肚腩, 一節節胖胖的手脚在郁動便很開心興奮!!希望自己同老公都可以做個好爸爸媽媽啦. 努力!

看見孩子,看見生命

很久沒有寫blog, 因為覺得生活沒有什麼特別事很想去紀念, 直到今日...忽然很想分享, 很想去紀念. 不經不覺我已經pregnant 六個月了. 當知道懷孕, 自己不敢相信(雖然是PLANNED), 還是去 double check 了幾次才相信. 初時有點興奮及有點不知所措, 直至頭兩個月嘔吐發作, 簡直一點心機也沒有, 吃什麼也想吐, 無人生樂趣 :(

現在已踏進第六個月, 我很是喜歡pregnant的感覺了. 為什麽? 因為看見了baby fung在我的肚裏擺動他的手腳, 真的很感動. 正如Bible 所說 - Sons are heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him (Psalms 127:3). 孩子是 a gift from God!! 神賜了兒子給我們, 多辛苦多困難也要努力向前行, 神的引導和blessings 必與我們同在!

很開心今日同兩個好友到赤柱, 淺水灣&深水灣走走, 天氣極好, 很舒服! 挺着漸大的肚子走路, 我還是頗敏捷啊!! Baby Fung 這個月郁動得很活躍, 昨天晚上睡在牀上, 在身邊的老公也感受到Baby Fung的郁動, 可想他有幾活躍...哈哈! 還是昨晚睡前吃了件糯米雞, 他覺得好好味而興奮到手舞足蹈?

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber at Fleet Street

帶着期待的心情剛看了 Tim Burton & Johnny Depp 炮製的Sweeney Todd, 幾凍都要出去啦!! 我
果然 made the right choice. 我個人很欣賞 Tim Burton and Jonny Depp 的才華, 加上今次每個選角都非常好, 令人睇得投入. 這套戲改編自百老滙舞台劇,所以 Tim Burton 這次都加入唱歌元素, 所有角色都要唱歌仔, 連Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Cater (添布頓女友), Alan Rickman (曾演香水 & Harry Potter), Sacha Baron Cohen (演波叔出城那位仁兄) 全部都要唱幾首, 效果真係不錯.

值得一提, Johnny Depp 依然depp 得杯落, 好鬼幽怨. 而Sacha扮演一位意大利Barbar, 連Italian accent 誇張到笑死. Alan Rickman 亦絕對好戲.

戲裏亦加入幽默元素, 雖然本人比較怕大量割喉見血場面, 但overall 電影我都好enjoy. 淨係短期內不會吃meat pie (i.e. chicken pie, mushroom pir, etc) 了.

Cold Cold Weather

It's freezing here in HK these weeks. I think we seldom experience the cold weather over a week in the past. The worst part is that we know we have to survive for the following week during CNY.

I only wish that cold weather can leave us asap with the following 10 big reasons.

1) I have no mood to dress up myself to work or go out. Only picking up the same old thick coat everyday - they are all dark in color, just like the weather.
2) I can't eat ice-cream - though my hubby can still enjoy it during this weather.
3) I have to use heater at home - makes my skin feel dry.
4) I have to use the 暖水袋 - which i burn my hand when i filled up the bag.
5) I have to eat hot pot more often - which is hot air.
6) I have to warm up my pants before I wear it...
7) I don't want to leave my bed every morning
8) I worry about my grandparents whether they wear enough clothes to make themselves warm
9) My shoulder muscle is in pain
10) I have no mood to go hang out with my friends for happy hours, movies, concert, etc.

I wish to say goodbye to u now, Hilton.

I was torn apart here - at Hilton Singapore. It could not be more dreadful than anywhere in Singapore. I wish i could leave asap but no choice - poor me, struggling to survive here.

Here are some the highlights (just the second day here, more to come i guess):
(1) The hair dryer burnt the fuse off at my guestroom EVERY morning. They did not fix it and this problem repeat everyday by itself...RIDICULOUS! ( I have requested thousands of time to fix it...my gosh)
(2) Access room key cannot access to the room.
(3) Bolied eggs are only half boiled (raw).
(4) Lunch is served 1 hour late.
(5) The banquet staff is not friendly, not helpful (helpless), slow and...(can't continue here).
(6) The sales and banquet staff will never answer your phone call or email (this is the first time i experienced this kind of SERVICE)

I am so tired here and been exposed to the limit today - ENOUGH!!! Oh please...i started to pray for my meeting here and hopefully i won't die at the hotel here this week. Everything can happen here, believe me.

One thing though I appreciate is the lady at Business Center, she is just nice and listen to my complaints everyday - she helped me to get a new hair dryer in my room this afternoon - thank god and hope it works. She may probably the only one who is helpful and the most responsible staff at this hotel.

I am very very tired...

預備結婚事件薄1

婚期快到, 很多瑣碎事開始. 話唔攪最終都是一不做二不休. 而家才真正明白結婚絕對不是兩個人的事. 我想不到自己已經為遷就某些人哭了多少次, 也想不到某些人還很自我和不諒解, 說難聽的話,現在仍害怕再受無情話傷害. 還要去應付不同的要求, 又要顧別人的感受(要放下自己的感受),我有些累了. 有時候跟bf說很想快些完成這件事, 幸好bf一向都positive thinking...我好想開心去完這件事. 期待往後組織一個家的日子, 只是自己現在經歷一些普通人沒有遇過的複雜事了...有時有口難言, 在此抒發一下.

初哥

作為一個單鏡反光數碼相機初哥的我, 在過去的一個月裏的weekend, 拿着相機周圍去, 就是想看有什麽好題材...最終我發現自己比較適合影景物 or 物件 (因為有人笑我最能捕捉人的醜態多於美態). 我想我還是比較喜歡影人的笑臉吧!

這張是本人稍為滿意的作品, 你看了會想起什麼?

最新的流汗紀錄

坐在辦公室快要變化石的我, 終於"的"起心肝, 找一些帶氧運動做, 希望可以增加血液循環同加速新陣代謝...從而將小腩收緊:P

於是今天的晚上就膽粗粗去上第一課舞蹈班---HIP HOP! 本來想學Pop Jazz, 但係開不成班, 唯有上HIP HOP. 嘩! 第一堂已經跳到流汗, 重覺得跳得好勁啊! 雖然有些舞步都是跟不上, 但我在整個過程都好享受, 什麽煩惱都暫時忘記. 大家可以imagine一枝竹硬硼硼跳舞是怎麽樣, 但係我enjoy呀! 唔理得咁多了!

新玩意

最近終於達成自己一個小願望, 就是擁有一個看上去似Pro的數碼單鏡返光相機. 哈哈! 都幾開心架! 一直以來看見別人影相, 自己也開始心動, 相片係可以好似一幅畫一樣, 攝影師就係畫家, 用自己的鏡頭去捕捉自己要表達的事情,感受,美感...現在發現一点也不簡單. 現在我想努力一点去学習, 希望快D比D有水準的相同你share啦!
或者有一日你會在街上見到我, 捧着大大舊相機周圍"藤"架 :)

paranoid

I don't know how to deal with trouble people. So I prefer to stay away from them. And I don't like people who try to take advantage of others, and I am always the victim. I just only feel bad about myself when I know others are trying to take advantage of me. Ai....

時間飛逝

又過一年...放自己幾天假, 想"dick"起心肝做功課, 但係無乜心機, 進度超級的慢. 成萬多字要寫, 自己仲係寫得2千字, 睇怕要放多幾日假.

公公和婆婆年紀也老邁了, 公公雙脚不大靈活, 有天早上在街上跌倒了, 雖然沒有大礙, 但心裡很怕他會再跌倒. 婆婆記性也漸差, 時常忘記自己做了什麽. 安慰的是見他們互相扶持, 清早兩老一起去喝早茶. 我也時時提醒自己要多D陪佢地, 很想今年帶他們去旅行呢!

So touched

I made two friends this trip - Alvin and Jennifer. They are so nice to me, hard working with passions, they even took their time off to bring me out for nice places and meals which they don't really need to do that to me. And they also gave me an adorable cyrstal choker today!!

These people are just awesome, I am glad I have made friends with them. That's the valuable thing I got from this long trip! I think I hardly feel that way most of the time when I meet people at work...so it's an unexpecting gift this time! I deifnitely will miss them when i leave tomorrow...

What if you are sick overseas

Bad things keep happening to me. My allergy spread out fast this morning when I woke up. The first thing I asked myself, should i go to doctor? And the next answer is I can't wait coz it's spreading to other parts of my leg.

Called the house doctor from the hotel, he is so kind to treat me as the first appointment before any others and rushed to my hotel room. Then he diagonsis my allergy and finally I got two injections...and it costs skyhigh price!!! But I am satisfied with what he has done, he is very professional with the two injections, no pain and he keeps distracting me from the injections which helps. He talks to you like friends, ok, that worth skyhigh price, rite? Hahahaha.....

After talking to him, I learnt his professionals with some idea. He mainly caters for hotel guests and travel to the hotels to visit the travelling clients. He said normally patients who needs him are mostly urgent in nature coz they want to be cured immediately with the fastest method.
That's true...I was desparate enough to be cured immediately this morning!!!

After all, take my advice, try to take care yourself carefully when you are overseas. Try not to get sick coz the price to cure your sickness fast is Sky High Price in MONEY terms.

All of a sudden, my skin has allergy these few days. There are red spots and itching, I just don't know what to do...especially when I am out of town. Bad things keep coming to you when you are down...looking forward for tomorrow - a brand new day again i wish!!!

a cheer up message from someone

It's so nice that when you are down, you receive a cheer up message from someone. Thank you, you are just my angel at the right moment.

Good at nothing

Sometimes i asked myself what am i good at. Ashame of me, i don't think i am good at anything. I am not like other people who is good at playing sport, good at talking, good at pleasing people...sometimes people around me may think i am good at nothing, that could be true. I am not oustanding or excellent, i am just a simple and ordinary person. Please don't tell me how good other people are, i am not them, please. If you expect I am as good as those people, you are wrong. Give me a break!